Seclusion

I don’t know why I feel so secluded. Sometimes I think I do it to myself, but I can’t help it. In this world, in this day and age- can you blame me? Seclusion. It feels safe. It’s the right thing to do, but maybe it’s not. Would you judge me if I secluded myself? Alone from the world, it’s all I know. It’s all I really want to know. Why should I put my trust into someone? What do they owe me to listen, to care, to understand, to sympathize? Nothing. Nothing at all. That’s the whole point though. What if I were to put my trust into someone and they weren’t there? I’m scared to find out.

I went to a class one day- it was a water aerobics class. It was my birthday that day, you know, one of those days that are supposed to be a good day no matter what? Everyone is supposed to wish you happy birthday and be nice to you, but that wasn’t the case. No, instead everyone was talking to each other.  No one was talking to me- I tried to talk too. I made an attempt to de-seclude myself. I had to, it was my birthday and I wanted to be happy. So I tried. But no one noticed. Everyone swam and exercised with each other and left me out. I watched from the outside as they enjoyed and smiled and laughed- on my birthday.

I dated a boy once, he liked me and I liked him. It was interesting relationship. Yes, yes it was. He secluded himself like I did. We went on a couple of dates; we went to the movies a lot. The movies don’t require talking much. None at all really. I saw a lot of movies that summer. We also went to Applebee’s a lot- they have good food there. We ate there almost every week.  But I don’t know what happened. We kind of just drifted apart. I guess he was scared of what I was scared of too. Being hurt. But I guess our relationship wasn’t a typical one because we didn’t talk much. We ate and watched movies and that was the extent of that relationship.

The door is currently closed. Closed from the rest of the world. I opened it, but the world closed it back up. I guess it doesn’t want me in its conversation, in its life, in the world it calls its own. That’s ok though. The world doesn’t owe me anything and I don’t owe it anything. Frankly, I like not owing the world anything- keeping a clear conscience. What’s the point anyways? What will I get in return- some friends that won’t keep in touch, some relationship that’s bound to end and some memories that will fade away? Is it really worth it to eventually be left alone again?

Seclusion

I don’t know why I feel so secluded. I know I do it to myself, but I can’t help it. In this world, in this day and age- can you blame me? It feels safe. It’s all I know, it’s all I want to know. Is that so wrong? To keep to myself and not trust anyone- it’s safe. I like safe. Don’t you like safe?

Updates Pt. 2

Sooo... These updates are taking longer than expected. But that's a good thing because I've been busy gathering my thoughts for all of you and thinking of something clever to tell you. But for now enjoy this funny video... 


Monkey!

ANDD..... GO RANGERS!! 

Updates!

Updates soon to come :) 

Getting Dumped VIA Facebook

Doesn’t it suck when you come home after a long day of doing whatever you were doing and see that you’re single on Facebook? That the one person, that ONE person, you “truly” cared about, dumped you…  And didn’t even bother telling you! They kind of just made their relationship single and it automatically made yours just ‘in a relationship’ with a huge red heart next to it. But you’re not in a relationship anymore. Instead you’re kind of just in a onelationship ? A Onelationship is where one party is still in the relationship when the other party has made it clear they are no longer attending ever again.

OH and then the comments start- like people actually care about you.

They kind of go something like this:
“OHMYGOD.”
“NO WAY? CALL ME.”
“:(“
“aw.”
“When did this happen?”
“You’re too good for him/her anyways.”
“I love youuuu!!! Call me if you need anything!!!!!! Awwww!”

Excuse me while I go barf after reading that.

Your reaction:  
You stare at your screen and all you want to do is tell all of these people to @#$% off because you just found out too. And the best part of it all is that not only did you not know, not only did ALL of your friends know before you, BUT… Facebook will always be there to rub it in with the rest of the world.

WAIT, we’re not done here. Don’t forget about the pictures you and your now ex-significant other had up. Those are still there right? I mean Facebook doesn’t automatically delete every single picture you and this other person had together. Even if it is the person who just broke your heart. Nope, Facebook doesn’t do that for you. Then, you have to go through ALL of your profile pictures and delete each and every picture you had with them. Ultimately, leaving you with your dorky pictures from your teenage years. AND, when looking for another picture to put up you can’t find anything because all your pictures were with that person. Wow, Facebook is really an asshole here if you think about it.

Don’t leave just yet though. I know you know that couple who writes ALL OVER each other Facebook walls even when they’re sitting next to each other. GAG. If they didn’t have enough PDA when you have to see them, you have to read about it too. That’s the couple who break up every so often and always swear they’re never going to get back together and then an hour later they’re fine. That couple that pretends like everything is perfect in their relationship, when in reality it’s nowhere near perfect. Don’t you just LOVE that couple?? And then days/months/years down the road they really do break up and make things awkward for everyone. Ha, you even get to the point to where you start missing their disgusting conversations that kept you entertained for oh-so long.

But, of course you’re not going to blame yourself for putting all those pictures up there. No, you’re not even going to blame yourself for putting ‘in a relationship with so and so’ on Facebook, where the entire world is welcome to join in on. Nope. You’re just going to blame the person who ended it and Facebook. Because in end, it’s only those two entities fault for making you go through such an embarrassing moment in life.   

After all, the worst possible way to get dumped… is when you get dumped via Facebook.  

Music Is My Savior

Isn’t it funny how you can listen to a song and connect it with a certain moment you lived in your life? Music is such a beautiful art that I feel is SO underappreciated. I can listen to a song that’s years old and still remembered what I was doing when I would have the song on repeat from back then.

Currently Playing: With You; Artist: Chris Brown- Great memories with this one. I’m pretty sure I was still in high school trying to figure out what the meaning of life was. Or I was being a normal teenager obsessing over my high school crush. (Not going to name any names of course) ha.

Another thing about music that I’ve learned is that these artists really know how to define what love is, in every possible manner.  Love with friendships, with family, with sex and even emotion. There are even songs that describe how people feel when in love. And of course there are the love songs for when break-ups happen.  

Favorites for love songs (these range in all different genres and love spectrums): Falling in love at a coffee shop; Landon Pigg, Teenager in love; Paul Anka, Stolen; Jay Sean, Breaking up is hard to do; Neil Sedaka, Summer love; Justin Timberlake, Your love is my drug; Kesha, Wait for you; Elliot Yamin, Impossible; Shontelle, Knock you down; Keri Hilson ft. Ne-Yo & Kanye West, Gallery; Mario Vasquez. Just to name a few!

I still cannot believe that before I was deprived of all the beautiful music there is in the world. My life was shut out to only the mainstream music played on the radio or things that my friends introduced me to that I thought was good. Soon enough, I learned about the other music in the world. Right now, I’m obsessed with Jazz/Oldies music. It is so amazing. I feel like those lyrics and the music just reaches into my soul and touches it. I love having the ability to appreciate this music.  

Current obsession artists: Frank Sinatra & Chet Baker.

Currently Playing: I need a girl pt. 2; Artist: P. Diddy- There’s a pretty woman next to me, to share the dreams that I believe, maybe we can start a family. Someone that truly understands, how to treat a man, this is what I need. OK, how about we change up those words to make it appropriate for me, or for any woman. All we want is some lovin too! (Not that I’m not loved, just speaking up for my ladies!)

Then there’s the music that has that vibe. The beat hits us, our bodies start flowing, legs start moving and the next thing you know you’re dancing away. Salsa, rap, hip-hop, Indian- whatever it may be. It gets us ESTATIC! It may be playing at the club, bar or even car and the only thing you want to do is dance. I just wanna dance! Ha ha! You sing at the top of your lungs and you dance the night away. You really don’t care who is watching or who is around because as long as the music is going you are too.

Songs that are fun: I shake I move; LMFAO, XXXO; M.I.A. Ft. Jay-Z, I like it; Enrique Iglesias, Show me a good time; Drake, Shots; LMFAO! I could seriously go on forever with this list.

I CANNOT live without music. The first thing in the morning I think of what I can jam to, to wake me up. And whatever I listen to in the morning puts me in that mood for the rest of the day. Usually that’s why I listen to some good songs to make me smile or dance. I don’t know what I would do without it. It’s there for me when I’m sad, when I’m happy, when I feel the love and even when I don’t. Music completes my life. I can’t play any music, I sure can’t read it, but I DO know how to appreciate it. Music is my savior.

Currently Playing: Lovers and Friends; Artist: Usher, Lil John and Ludacris.  

I think it's an appropriate song to leave off on. :) 

Pulpless Bottle of Lies!!

150% Orange Juice, with NO PULP?!?!?! IT MAKES NO SENSE!

This guy gets me:
Warning: I think he might be on something and I do not promote doing things like that if he is. Somethings I don't agree with either. People under the age of maturity should not yet watch this video. It's just a kind of funny- kind of inappropriate video. Like weird, laugh at the guy funny. You get my point right? Err on the side of safety kiddos! 
Fast forward to 1:00- Pulpless Bottles of Lies!


BTW, I haven't forgotten about you devoted followers; I've just been super busy with summer school ending and a new job! Updates, bitching and pulp-facts soon to come! ♥

I want. I wish. I have.

I want things to be different.

I want my only worry in the world to be when the next dance practice is going to be and how many people were going to come.

I want to get away from reality.

I want everything to go my way.

I want people to be nicer and have good intentions.

I want to make my parents and people who love me proud.

I want to eat something.

I want extra pulp orange juice.

I want to be brilliant.

I want more friends.

I want to have more faith.

I want to make an impact on the world.

I wish the world was a better place.

I wish the good things in life were handed to me.

I wish no one has to suffer.

I wish there was no evil in the world.

I wish I was more motivated.

I wish the hardships in life would go away.

I wish I had some fruit snacks right now. (And someone to share them with)

I wish I had some extra pulp orange juice.

I wish I had all the money I could have and then I wish to help people with it.

I wish people weren’t so difficult.

I wish people didn’t do things for themselves.

I wish for true love.

I have an amazing family. (Especially my broski, he’s the best.)

I have loving friends.

I have the ability to make my dreams come true.

I have a car.

I have food and water.

I have an education.

I have regular, no pulp orange juice, because the store didn’t have any pulpy orange juice and it made me sad.

I have a place to live. (Multiple actually)

I have curly hair.

I have shoes and clothes.

I have a laptop.

I have a religion.

I have you.

Do you get it?

 “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”- Oprah Winfrey

Just Breathe

You know that feeling you get when you need to talk to someone about something but you don’t want to. That conversation that you want to put off as long as you can until you really just need to have it out. That discussion that is oh so dreadful and scary that you become anxious, you start sweating, your heart is racing a thousand miles an hour. Those words that you’ve rehearsed a thousand times in every place imaginable; you even get to the point where you write it out and you read over it again and again and again. And then… You finally say it. It’s out there and it feels like the whole world knows you said it. It’s too late now. You’ve already said it. It’s out there in the universe and you can’t take it back. You want to take it back though. You’re screaming inside! Yelling! WHY DID I JUST DO THAT? I’m an idiot. I should’ve just kept it to myself. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should just apologize and take it back. Beg them to ignore what you just said. Tell them you were kidding. Yeah that’s it! It was a joke! Ha ha. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. It’s going to be okay. But it’s not. It’s not okay at all. You needed to have it out. You can’t take it anymore! Whatever it was has been taking a toll on your life and every time you think of it, it makes you nervous. You just want them to know, that’s it. You just want them to know. Deep breaths. You can do this.

Then you wait. You wait for a response. That awful period where you have to just wait and do nothing else but wait. You become more nervous. More yelling. OH GOD, WHY COULDN’T I JUST KEEP IT TO MYSELF? That moment where you physically struggle to keep yourself together for however long it takes them to get back to you. Then you start praying. Praying that they will understand why you said what you said and help you figure out a way to solve the problem. Hoping that they won’t be mad. Oh lord, that would be bad if they were mad. So mad that it took DAYS to respond. How will I live through days of no response? IT’S EATING ME ALIVE! Please respond. It’s the weak moment. The moment where they have all the control and whatever decision they make is the decision that sticks. No compromise. No compromise at all? Please can we figure something out? That fear that you’re going to lose the person and you don’t want to. Then you start feeling more panicked. DAMNIT, I SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT. 

You finally get a response. But you don’t know what the response is just yet, because you haven’t read or listened to it all the way through. Your rationalizing in your head, this can go either extremely well or it could be completely opposite of what you were hoping for. Breathe. It’s going to be okay. It will pass. You keep reading or listening. You’re trying to comprehend what their saying. You keep interrupting to help them understand that you meant the best and you didn’t mean it. Well you did but you didn’t mean to say it the way you did. You just needed to get it out. But they’re still not done talking to you. They’re telling you what their thinking. They’re going through what you just went through before you told them. They rehearsed. They wrote. They thought long and hard before they spoke to you. That’s why it took so long. But you’re not listening you’re just praying that they won’t be so upset with you. You’re still wishing that you can just go back in time and take it all back. And you miss it. You miss what they say and you’re still over-thinking it. “LISTEN TO ME! IT’S OKAY! I GET IT!” “Wait what, you’re not mad? Well that’s fantastic!” Another deep breath. “I’m sorry, I know it’s a tedious conversation, we’re okay?” “Of course.” Breathe. Sigh of relief. Smile. Laugh. Done. 

Boys Boys Boys

So I know I’ve covered this topic once or twice, but people really aren’t taking my advice seriously! BOYS! MEN! Whoever you are!! THIS IS FOR YOU!!

You’re the man of the house and you want to be treated like one, right? Well then act like one! Women are tired of seeing men who take longer than them to get dressed to go out. We’re tired of the guy who doesn’t step up and take responsibility for their actions. And we are sure as hell tired of the guy who doesn’t stand up for his woman. Look guys, women aren’t that complicated, seriously. We like compliments, we like chocolate, we want to know that you love us too, we want to know that you appreciate us getting dressed up  for you and we want to know that everything will be all right.

When we come to you for help with even the smallest things, we want you to know that we appreciate your opinion, even if we know the answers ourselves. Most of the time, if we don’t agree with what you said we’ll do it anyways. Women do that because we like our men to feel like men. Now, if you don’t stand up and act like a man, you make our jobs a lot harder. Come on, we make it SO easy for y’all! Don’t sit there and make that face you just made.

When you walk into a room, have your head up and demand the attention that you deserve. YOU are the man and you’ve got a beautiful woman by your side. SHOW HER OFF! She’ll absolutely love that.  We like attention too! In all seriousness though, if she took time out of her life to get cute for you, the least you could do is treat her like the princess she is. All girls are princesses and we fight for our throne, FYI.

Every girl LOVES surprises. It doesn’t matter if she’s told you that she doesn’t, because in reality she really does. Surprises mean: bringing her flowers to her dance performance, giving her favorite chocolate to her when she least expects it or maybe even coming to see her when she’s having a bad day. Little things like that will make her love you even more.  Another thing every man should know is that she really does love you more than you love her. Unless it’s not working out, well then that’s just y’alls problem!

This may be the most important thing I can ever say to a guy. DO NOT LIE TO US!! We know when you do it, you suck at doing it, you’ll make everyone’s lives hell, so just DON’T DO IT. You guys ask why women get so paranoid and insecure. It’s because you lie to us. You make us go all crazy figuring out why you lied to us, if we did something wrong, if you’re not happy, why we’re not happy, etc etc. Honestly, it’s just not worth the hassle. Oh did I mention we know when you do it; because we do. A woman’s instinct is usually never wrong and you’ll just get yourself in trouble. DON’T DO IT!!

Guys, seriously… Stop being so lame 

Current Status

So I wake up in the morning, do my business, go to the kitchen, open up the fridge and see this huge bottle of Simply Orange High Pulp Orange Juice sitting in the fridge. I smiled and knew that I was at home. Of course I’m at home; but seeing that bottle of OJ confirmed it. The best part was that I knew my mother got it for me. Internally, I laughed saying “YES! She gets me!” Yeah, we fight. A LOT. But doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what her daughter likes, and it sure doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate her. I’ve had some bright moments with my mother... But I still believe her to be the best woman ever. She’s my strength and courage and reason why I get out of bed in the mornings. Without her I don’t know what would happen to me. She’s helped me smile when I lost all hope in the world, and made me understand why things happen (for better or for worse). If you don’t know my mother, you need to meet her. If you do know my mother, you know how much I take after her. My mother. She’s made me the woman I am: fearless, stubborn, happy and most importantly forgiving.

Current status: Sippin/eating some good ol’ high pulp orange juice. =)

Join me? 

Carpe Diem

Hello world! How has everyone been since my last post? Great? Shove it in why don’t ya? No no, go ahead. We all know how great you’ve been doing. Going swimming, going partying and hanging out with the ‘peeps’ that you choose to acknowledge yourself with. JUSSSSTTTT GREAATTT!

I’m sure while you’re hanging out with your friends you’re taking pictures too, right? Pictures that eventually find themselves to Facebook to show the rest of the world how great you’ve been huh? Well that’s nice. Shove it in some more. Go ahead. I’m not here to judge!

How have I been? Well thanks for asking! I’ve been pretty good myself. Still in search of a job that pays well so I can pay bills in the future. Of course to get a well-paid job I need an education which is what I’m currently working on. Other than that, life has been life. Isn’t that such a bland statement? Just like someone saying “it is what it is.” I don’t agree with that.

It is what you make it to be.

I recently realized that. Very recently

Reality check!

We are able to take any situation and make it out to be whatever we want it to be. Whether it has to do with wanting to continue on getting a higher education, helping your parents with business or simply breaking up with a girlfriend/boyfriend. It’s easy. You do it and you do the best you can at it. You try to make good grades, you help the parents that support you or you try not to break a heart (even if it’s in the best interest for both parties).

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this in previous posts, but, life is just too short to dwell. If we fail to appreciate the people in our lives and the moments given to us, we aren’t really able to appreciate the bigger picture of life.

A friend of mine sent me a quote from the Dalai Lama when asked what surprised him most about humanity. The Dalai Lama answered, “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” MIND BLOWING!

Intriguing, isn’t it? The answer that he chose to give was about man and the way man lives his life. Unfortunately, it’s so true. Even I get caught in thinking about the future too much and neglecting what I have right in front of me.

Luckily, it’s not too late to change these habits!

CARPE DIEM my friends!

This glass of extra-pulp OJ is half full, remember? How full is your glass?

Good Things Happen to Those Who Wait

                So it’s been a good two weeks since I’ve had an actual blog post, but you can’t blame me- I was busy with finals, packing, moving home and enjoying the first couple days of summer!

I thought this summer was going to consist of me just working, hanging out with friends and learning a new language (Rosetta Stone!), however; that’s not going to be happening. Instead I’m going to be taking summer school again and working at The MAC. Woohoo!   No seriously, I’m pretty excited for school. I don’t know what I’d do without it.

Honestly, I didn’t know what to write about today, but then I realized that my entire summer changed because I couldn’t find a proper job or internship in the field I wanted. Of course it’s going to take much longer to find something suitable, after all, good things happen to people who wait for them right? Ha. Anyways, to help my fellow peers I decided to compile a list of things people should do when going in for an interview!

1.       Always dress professionally! DUH! But in all seriousness, it doesn’t matter what kind of interview you’re going in for, when you are dressed professionally the interviewer will know you’re ready to get down to business.

2.       Pay attention to the interviewer’s body language. Make eye contact- if you’re not comfortable with eye contact look at their forehead (they won’t know the difference, unless there’s a huge zit there!) Also, try reflecting their movements- not to where you’re doing the same thing as them, but enough to let them know you’re paying attention.

3.       Always ask questions! People LOVE to talk about themselves (a friend of mine told me that!) Asking questions also lets the interviewer know that you are serious about learning more about your future role and about the company.

4.       This ties into #3- Do your research before you go in. Whether you have to Google the company or memorize their website, know your stuff!

5.       Try and relate to the person who is interviewing you. When you can relate to someone, the air is much easier to breathe and it may give you an upper-hand!

6.       Oh did I mention be on time? Seriously, if you even think about being late, don’t bother going in at all.

7.       Always carry an extra copy of your Resume, bring a notepad for notes and turn your cellular device off.

a.       Having an extra copy of your Resume is always great because if the interviewer happened to misplace it you can bring out your copy. This will definitely give you some points.

b.      Taking notes during an interview only depends on the field you are going into. Say if you were interviewing for a journalism job, if you don’t have a notepad, you will not be taken seriously.

c.       Cell phone off! I cannot stress how important this is. If the interviewer hears it vibrate or see’s it lighting up (when on silence) your interview will most likely go downhill from there. Actually, don’t even let them see your phone.

8.       Have an elevator introduction ready; this can be used anywhere you are. You never know where you’re going to meet someone. Basically an elevator introduction is ten seconds to sell yourself to the person. If you nail it, you may get the job on the spot.

9.       Smile. Smiling eases tension and allows the interviewer know that you can handle a stressful situation. Everyone knows how stressful interviews can be.

10.   Have a graceful exit. No matter how well or how terribly the interview went, the last impression on someone is always the one they’ll think of when and if they think of you. If you are able to compose yourself throughout all that and have a great exit strategy, who wouldn’t want to hire you?

11.   Remember you are not the only one they will be interviewing. When they ask questions like “what makes you better than the rest?” Tell them! Don’t hesitate about boasting about yourself. You know you best!

If you don’t hear back from a company, don’t be afraid to call them or email them asking about the job you interviewed. If anything they may offer you a different job because you called.

Got any tips of your own?

Pulp-free

They shouldn't be allowed to sell these!

The Death is Soon to Come

I AM SO EXCITED!!!!

TWO MONTHS AND 10 DAYS LEFT!!!!

I still miss you Dobby <3 

Skepticism

Authors Note: I had a little fun with this one... :) 


The words on the screen. They mock me. They laugh that I can't read them. But it's not that I can't read them, I just don't want to read them. I don't want to read them because I'm tired of them. They're everywhere, did you know that? EVERYWHERE. These words that I'm typing, yeah, they're mocking me too. But they're confused. Why on earth would I despise them if I have to use them to express myself. Damn you words. I can't think right now. Again- not that I can't but I don't want to. Words... W.O.R.D.S. Confused? Me too. Junkadoodle. That's an awesome word. JUNK-A-DOODLE. I think it's my favorite now. Say it out loud. Go ahead! Try it. You know you want to. Haha you did, didn't you? It’s mine, you can’t steal it. If I catch you using it, you will be in trouble. Letters. Letters make words, which make sentences, which make thoughts, which make conversation. Wow. Letters do a lot. Yet these words are mocking me. Laughing at me. Staring me in the face. Pointing fingers at me. Bullies. HELP! ... No one comes. Sad. Ha, who cares? Not I. Why do you mock me my dear friends? If it were not for me, you would not be read. You would not be written. No one would care to think about you. LIES. Caught me. You are everywhere, of course people would think about you. But would they actually take the time out and see you through the lens which I see you through? No, I don't think so. So you are welcome. You are welcome, although you mock me. I don't appreciate you mocking me. It's not fair. Stop it. STOP IT! Now I shall laugh at you. I give you birth and you mock me. Words. Without you I would be so lost. With you I am tired. Can't live with them, can't live without them- just like men. Ha, I had to.  

Charmer

I have lots of guy friends who are always looking for advice about girls, the complex creatures that we are.  Here are some pointers:

Skinny jeans are for girls, not boys!  That goes for low rise too... eww.

Always walk with me on the inside, protect me from danger.

I'll wash the dishes, just pleaseee take out the trash.

Don't trust a girl who doesn't love babies.

Chocolate.  Enough said!

Be an amazing son to your parents.

Movies on a first date is the wrong move.  Take us somewhere where we can converse.

We want to come to sporting events!  Not every single one, you have your boys for that, just once in a while.

Do not take longer to get dressed/do your hair than we do - all girls like rugged boys!

Have an awesome laugh.

Walk in to a room and own the place.  Shoulders back, head up, don't slouch.

Don't smoke.

Sing us something, even if you're terrible at it, you'll earn a million love points.

Be the charmer we all know you can be ;)

Fact or Fiction

My entire immediate family (including me) was born on a different continent

·         Mom- Asia

·         Dad- Africa

·         Brother- Europe

·         Me- North America

My brother and I are 6 years apart and he’s freaking amazing with technology- I love you!

I have always dreamed of going to Law School at SMU and one day will fulfill this dream

I want to go into the FBI after Law School as a criminal interrogator

I LOVE fruit snacks- I love food in general though

My favorite movie is Pirates of the Caribbean- Jack Sparrow is hilarious

 My mind is always in a continuous spectrum of thoughts- Recently my thoughts have been taken over by a certain something

I want to get married in every major religion- I think it would be fun to experience different cultures weddings. Probably won’t happen though, ha!  

 I feed off of the energy around me

My religion is my life- proud Muslim woman

I hate being underestimated- I might be small but my actions speak louder than my WORDS!

I’m a genius- don’t doubt it

I love extra pulp orange juice- DUHHHH!

I’m loud and crazy and love doing spontaneous things

I currently am thankful for everyone in my life and all that I have- Thank you God

I had an amazing day today-The day’s not even over yet! :) 

Rebirth

Air, Earth, Fire and Water- the four classical elements of the world; all four elements are major components of human life and all four elements are taken for granted. Air is what we breathe daily, earth is where we live, fire gives us warmth and water, well, water gives us multiple things. I believe that water is one element that is of most importance to us and one which we don’t appreciate.

Water. It is wet and cold, heavy and light and it flows with great ease. Water is also the most useful element on the planet as it can: purify, provide a home for creatures, quench thirst, destroy things and rebuild things. I didn’t realize until today how important water really is to us.

I’m going to take a different approach to explain how water has such a huge impact on our lives. I did some research and found that basically every poet has written about water and the way they perceive it. With these different perceptions I am finally able to appreciate water and the effects it has on us.

Emily Dickens “Water is Taught by Thirst”

“Water, is taught by thirst.

Land -- by the Oceans passed.

Transport -- by throe --

Peace -- by its battles told --

Love, by Memorial Mold --

Birds, by the Snow.”

Through this you learn that water is good for your body and appreciate the thirst it quenches.

Langston Hughes Excerpt from “Life is Fine”

 “I went down to the river,

I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.”

“I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.”

“But it was cold in that water! It was cold!”

Water has the ability not only to save life but take life.

Hafiz “A Suspended Blue Ocean”

 “The sky is a suspended blue ocean.

The stars are the fish that swim.
The planets are the white whales
I sometimes hitch a ride on,
And the sun and all light
Have forever fused themselves
Into my heart and upon
My skin.
There is only one rule
On this Wild Playground,
For every sign Hafiz has ever seen
Reads the same.
They all say,
‘Have fun, my dear; my dear, have fun,
In the Beloved's Divine
Game,
O, in the Beloved's
Wonderful Game.’"


Water can be alluded to different aspects of the world and still represent its true form.


Robert Frost “Fire and Ice”
“Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.”


Water has different forms, ones which can be dangerous.


T.S. Elliot Excerpt from “Death by Water”
“PHLEBAS the Phoenician, a fortnight dead, 
Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep seas swell 
And the profit and loss.
 A current under sea 
Picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell 
He passed the stages of his age and youth 
 Entering the whirlpool.
Gentile or Jew 
 O you who turn the wheel and look to windward
Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you.”


Water has the ability to purify and rebirth.


Jalaluddin Rumi Excerpt from “The Vigil”
“Lovers can't sleep when they feel the privacy
of the beloved all around them. Someone
who's thirsty may sleep for a little while,
but he or she will dream of water, a full jar
beside a creek, or the spiritual water you get
from another person. All night, listen
to the conversation. Stay up.
This moment is all there is.”


Water can also be looked upon a religious and spiritual aspect. 

Deliciousness

That's what I'm talkin about!

Dance

The rhythm of the beat, which move my feet. 
The movement of my body, I can’t stay in my seat. 

Dancing is an art, which moves us apart.
Dancing is a talent, you don’t have to be smart.

The flow makes you go, and you can feel it so.
The energy it requires, you wanna get low!

Beat by beat, your mind looses control.
It’s all up to your body, you have to let go.

The rush, the excitement, the smiles that you see.
This is what dancing does, to you and to me! 

This photo is quite old as you can see; however, I feel as if it captured the essence of how much dance means to me. (Taken at dance practice.) 

Identity Crisis

In Dallas, being underage and wanting to have a nightlife is almost impossible. After doing some research, I discovered that Dallas has only 12 bars and clubs for people 18 years or older. None of which are appealing enough to go to, and most of them are only 18+ on specific days.

Like most people my age, we have friends who are above the age of 21. With them being older, they would much rather go to a nice place rather than the dinky place offered for the youngin’s.  I don’t blame them, I’ve been to some of these places and they really are that bad.

Unfortunately, when people think about the age 21, they focus on the legal drinking aspect of the age. I, on the other hand think about the freedoms offered by the age- more places to go and more people to see. I could care less about people who want to waste their weekends getting smashed. I don’t judge. Like Rihanna says,  "I just want to dance!"

Recently, I got a taste of what nightlife is like in Dallas without having to worry about my age. Of course this happened by borrowing an ID of a friend, but nonetheless, I still got to experience it. Soon enough, I came to learn that most bouncers don’t care how old you are; as long as you have an ID that says you are 21. This way, they are not held liable for the actions taken by the person.

I also learned how loose the enforcement of identification laws are, encouraging underage people to get fake ID’s. If there is a resemblance from the picture to the person, the ID looks real and it states that you are 21, you're in. As long as it brings in the revenue, right? Ehm, I mean the people… ehm.  

However, getting a fake ID leads to larger problems that people don’t usually think about. For example; if you get caught with a fake, you can get arrested and fined with a conviction on your record. Who wants that? Another example would be, having to worry about memorizing everything on the ID; if you make the slightest mistake when asked, your ID will be taken up.

Personally, I am not against people investing in getting a fake ID. It’s not about having the ID, but more so the choices you make with the ID. Sure, being in college makes it easy to get your hands on alcohol; I mean someone knows someone who can hook it up. But as I stated before, that just doesn’t do it for me. I would like more choices to go out than a frat party, random house party or the dreadful 12 bars and clubs Dallas has to offer to me.  

Low Pulp

Tis a sad day in my fridge...

Why?

Has anyone ever noticed that the simple question why, is always the hardest question to answer? I’ve always wondered why people do the things they do, and I never seem to get an answer!

For example, I wonder why some women wear makeup to the gym. It is unattractive when the makeup starts sweating off and it is even more unattractive when they try to clean it up and it gets smeared all over their faces. Yet some ladies go to the gym looking like they are going on a date. The gym is probably the worst place to pick up someone, by the way. Another thing I’ve noticed is that women go to the gym wearing these small and tight provocative clothes and expect men not to follow them around or stare at them inappropriately. Why wear those clothes if you are just going to complain? Plus boys will be boys, right? They see someone attractive or just someone showing off their business, and wham, their brains become inactive.

I’ve also always wondered why people hurt one another. Granted, some people truly believe they didn’t intentionally hurt someone; but harm was still inflicted. One of my favorite quotes by Sir Sultan Mohammad Shah states, “You can break a mosque, you can break a temple, you can break anything that can be broken, but don’t break a person’s heart, because that’s where the lord resides." Yet, hearts are broken daily. Whether it is a lover breaking another lover’s heart or a friend breaking another friend’s heart; it happens all the time. It seems like heartbreak is inevitable.

I wonder why people take the risk of falling in love. The simple joy of love could be the worst thing anyone could ever experience. Then again, it could be the best thing that ever happens to someone. I’ve heard love makes people vulnerable to one another. Well obviously if you’re giving your 100%. But why take the chance on someone and give them the opportunity to stomp all over your heart?

I wonder why people feel the need to gossip about one another. Is it because they are jealous of what a person has or is it because they have that much time on their hands? Of course everyone gossip’s about their friends and family, but just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t make it okay for you to do it too.

I wonder why people hold grudges.

I wonder why people judge. I thought only God was allowed to do that.

I wonder why people get out of bed in the morning.

I wonder why people wear the clothes they wear.

I wonder why people don’t like extra pulp orange juice!

I wonder why people do the things they do… Don’t you?

The Muslim Child

                In society today, everyone has their own prejudices; whether they are against whites or blacks or Jews or Christians, they are always there. But today I’d like to focus on the prejudice held against Muslims. After 9/11 most people in America hated Muslims- all of them; and the ones living here didn’t get a chance to defend themselves. No one realized that they were just as shocked as the rest of the world when the event occurred. Despite the fact that I was in the fifth grade when the attacks happened, I still remember my reaction when I found out Muslim men were behind it. I thought to myself, “How could a Muslim man do this? Why would they do this?” Unfortunately being at such a young age no one would answer my questions. Soon I came to realize that it wasn’t because they were trying to protect me, it was because they didn’t know themselves.

                Growing up as an American Muslim girl in the U.S. and being raised in a community which is very tightly held together, I have personally seen and experienced the grief that Muslims have been through. I have seen families who were very successful and wealthy now trying to make ends-meet. I have seen my peers parents detained in prison because they have a Muslim last name and the country was suspicious of them.  I have also seen people leave America because of the unfair standard Muslims were being held against here. I thought people left other countries to avoid religious persecution. Isn’t that what the United States basis are?

                The problem here is not that the country is suspicious of these people; the problem was that they started holding them to this prejudice created by a group of men angry with the government. They believed this angry group of men were representatives of Muslims worldwide. They are wrong! The problem really is the fact that people are ignorant of what Islam really means. It’s peace; by the way!

                The reason why I decided to write about Muslim persecution today is because of the recent findings in Lubbock of a Muslim man who planned to attack former President George W. Bush’s home in Dallas and other attacks he was planning. This really intrigued me because of the impact his actions created on the other Muslims living in Lubbock. Although the Muslims there did not know him, they never saw him at mosque and had no idea what he was up to; these Muslims were held for his actions. The place where they worship and is sacred to them was vandalized with graffiti. Now I know if a regular church was vandalized it would make headlines everywhere; however, because it was a mosque it made the local paper and was pushed towards the end of the paper. It’s not a church so it doesn’t count… right? 

                I was devastated when I read this. They didn’t even know the man! Why are they being harmed for his mistake? Is it because that people always need to point their fingers at someone? But this makes no sense because I know that when Timothy McVeigh attacked Oklahoma City, Christians weren’t persecuted for his actions. Nope, they just took the guy to jail and left it at that.

                When the Arizona shootings happened just recently, a friend and I were talking and I remember him saying “I just hope to god it wasn’t a Muslim. Otherwise here comes more $*@# for us.” How sad, right? We have to be afraid of the actions others take and see how we will be affected because of it. They only took that guy to jail too. His religious beliefs weren't attacked at all. 

                I’m not saying everyone is ignorant about the Islamic religion. No, I’m not even saying that everyone needs to go read the history of the religion either. But how about doing some research before making up your mind about Muslims? Yeah I might be Muslim, but that doesn’t make me any less American. I’m a born and raised Texas girl! And I’m a born and raised Shia Imami Ismaili Muslim girl too. AND… I’m proud of it!

The Unwritten Rule

                To become an independent individual you must go through a process in life. This process may include setting your priorities in order, having financial security and focusing on your career. However, before you can start this process one needs to go to school and get an education, one needs to learn how to network to help pursue their career and one needs to move out of the house! Moving into your parent’s basement does not count!

                Going to college and moving out is one of the most thrilling things a person can do. They get to meet new people, they get to learn how to become more responsible and they get to share a room or suite with someone they’ve never met. But… some people come into college thinking that because their parents aren’t around they get to party it up and do whatever they please. And because students aren’t “required” to attend classes, who cares about going, right?  WRONG! There go the grades, there go their morals and here comes the beer weight!

Moving in with someone you don’t know might not be so exhilarating when you get a roommate who’s mom didn’t really teach them how to behave when going out into the world. You know how your mom always told you to make sure your underwear are clean or how she always got mad about cleaning your room- there’s a reason for that. To get you ready for the real world. Moms would also always teach us that monogamy was the proper way to live life. That way a nice boy or girl will come along and want to take you home to his or her mommy and daddy. Still not convinced that what mom was saying was for your own good? Read on!

One year I had a roommate who felt like she needed to service more people than McDonalds! I tend to exaggerate at moments but right now I really am being honest! This girl had a new guy over every night-sometimes two in a night. Oh but that’s not all. She thought by turning up the music it would cover the noises her and her gentleman caller were making. The louder they got the louder the music got. Thank God I had my own room! Okay, so this wouldn’t have been so bad if she didn’t have other flaws. This girl was also messy and saying messy is an understatement. She was a SLOB! One bright morning I come out of my room walk over to the sink to brush my teeth and when I look down I see pubes… Pubes in the sink… Now I really don’t need to know what she does on her own time (even though I already knew), how on earth did they get in the sink and why did she not bother cleaning it up? Isn’t there some kind of unwritten rule that you can’t just leave your business out like that? In fact isn’t it just presumed by humans all over? Oh mom, thank you for teaching me how to be a proper human being!

Now there are other unwritten rules that people should know about, but, what fun would it be if I told them all to you? You wouldn’t be able to have your own awkward moments!! Or maybe I’m just being cruel and want to laugh at you. Either way, you’ll never know what my real intentions are. Got your own stories? Comment away!  

Role Reversal

                I realize that so far all of my posts have been somewhat relevant to either what’s going on currently in the world (mainly Dallas, TX) or about the blog itself. However, today I will be going on a rant completely irrelevant to the world’s problems. I mean they might be more important than what I have to say here, but this is a real problem too people!

                It was brought to my attention today that humanity is lacking real men. No, not physically- emotionally. Believe it or not this was brought to my attention by a man! Meaning… there are some real problems here. Yes, I understand that in today’s society women are more independent then before and I understand that women tend to be more proud when it comes to a man helping her with something. But… men shouldn’t think that because women are more independent they should become dependent! It’s not like a get out of jail free card- it just doesn’t work that way. Women still want a man who can provide for the family, or take them out on nice dates once in a while, or even stand up for their woman when she needs standing up for.

                Now I do get the fact that there are different viewpoints about what a real man is, and I’m not going to sit here and define them. Surprisingly I have better things to do. But I will tell you what a real man is not! Yes I have time for that. Men are NOT supposed to constantly whine and moan about their problems. Granted, sometimes a man does need to talk about something serious and a woman is always there to listen, and will offer some advice too. But here’s the thing- women love to talk, but they like to talk about them, not about how depressed their man is that his friend beat him in fantasy football. Ladies, if he is still playing fantasy football, you’ve got a lot more problems than him whining. As I was saying, it’s the woman’s job to whine and moan about their day. She is suppose to come home and tell a man that her feet got blisters from her new shoes (this is where the man is suppose to sit her down and massage her feet ) or that her best friend is dating her ex boyfriend (he means nothing to her now but it still breaks the girl code. Plus who wants sloppy seconds?) It’s the man’s job to pretend like he’s listening and make her laugh- not the other way around!!!

                Another thing men do now-a-days is they always find a way to seek validation. It is as if they are insecure when they have nothing to be insecure about. When a woman likes or loves a man, she does everything possible to make her man happy; even if it means going out of her way to do so. She will give a man subtle hints that she was thinking of him throughout the day and she will want him to respond to them- even if it takes some time for him to figure them out. Women know men are a little slow at those things! So men, there is no need to be sensitive when your girl tells you she is going out with some friends (this includes guy friends). She knows her limits- chill out!

                I hope this brought some enlightenment into all of your souls. That is all I have to say about this topic. For now anyways! Got any comments to make? Feel the need to get a new best friend by subscribing? Do what you gotta do!

Remember: This glass is always half full! Half empty ones can go find somewhere else to dwell.