Thursday, August 25, 2011

Getting Dumped VIA Facebook

Doesn’t it suck when you come home after a long day of doing whatever you were doing and see that you’re single on Facebook? That the one person, that ONE person, you “truly” cared about, dumped you…  And didn’t even bother telling you! They kind of just made their relationship single and it automatically made yours just ‘in a relationship’ with a huge red heart next to it. But you’re not in a relationship anymore. Instead you’re kind of just in a onelationship ? A Onelationship is where one party is still in the relationship when the other party has made it clear they are no longer attending ever again.

OH and then the comments start- like people actually care about you.

They kind of go something like this:
“When did this happen?”
“You’re too good for him/her anyways.”
“I love youuuu!!! Call me if you need anything!!!!!! Awwww!”

Excuse me while I go barf after reading that.

Your reaction:  
You stare at your screen and all you want to do is tell all of these people to @#$% off because you just found out too. And the best part of it all is that not only did you not know, not only did ALL of your friends know before you, BUT… Facebook will always be there to rub it in with the rest of the world.

WAIT, we’re not done here. Don’t forget about the pictures you and your now ex-significant other had up. Those are still there right? I mean Facebook doesn’t automatically delete every single picture you and this other person had together. Even if it is the person who just broke your heart. Nope, Facebook doesn’t do that for you. Then, you have to go through ALL of your profile pictures and delete each and every picture you had with them. Ultimately, leaving you with your dorky pictures from your teenage years. AND, when looking for another picture to put up you can’t find anything because all your pictures were with that person. Wow, Facebook is really an asshole here if you think about it.

Don’t leave just yet though. I know you know that couple who writes ALL OVER each other Facebook walls even when they’re sitting next to each other. GAG. If they didn’t have enough PDA when you have to see them, you have to read about it too. That’s the couple who break up every so often and always swear they’re never going to get back together and then an hour later they’re fine. That couple that pretends like everything is perfect in their relationship, when in reality it’s nowhere near perfect. Don’t you just LOVE that couple?? And then days/months/years down the road they really do break up and make things awkward for everyone. Ha, you even get to the point to where you start missing their disgusting conversations that kept you entertained for oh-so long.

But, of course you’re not going to blame yourself for putting all those pictures up there. No, you’re not even going to blame yourself for putting ‘in a relationship with so and so’ on Facebook, where the entire world is welcome to join in on. Nope. You’re just going to blame the person who ended it and Facebook. Because in end, it’s only those two entities fault for making you go through such an embarrassing moment in life.   

After all, the worst possible way to get dumped… is when you get dumped via Facebook.  


Anonymous said...

Loved this post.

Extra Pulp said...

Thank you! :)

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