Seclusion

I don’t know why I feel so secluded. Sometimes I think I do it to myself, but I can’t help it. In this world, in this day and age- can you blame me? Seclusion. It feels safe. It’s the right thing to do, but maybe it’s not. Would you judge me if I secluded myself? Alone from the world, it’s all I know. It’s all I really want to know. Why should I put my trust into someone? What do they owe me to listen, to care, to understand, to sympathize? Nothing. Nothing at all. That’s the whole point though. What if I were to put my trust into someone and they weren’t there? I’m scared to find out.

I went to a class one day- it was a water aerobics class. It was my birthday that day, you know, one of those days that are supposed to be a good day no matter what? Everyone is supposed to wish you happy birthday and be nice to you, but that wasn’t the case. No, instead everyone was talking to each other.  No one was talking to me- I tried to talk too. I made an attempt to de-seclude myself. I had to, it was my birthday and I wanted to be happy. So I tried. But no one noticed. Everyone swam and exercised with each other and left me out. I watched from the outside as they enjoyed and smiled and laughed- on my birthday.

I dated a boy once, he liked me and I liked him. It was interesting relationship. Yes, yes it was. He secluded himself like I did. We went on a couple of dates; we went to the movies a lot. The movies don’t require talking much. None at all really. I saw a lot of movies that summer. We also went to Applebee’s a lot- they have good food there. We ate there almost every week.  But I don’t know what happened. We kind of just drifted apart. I guess he was scared of what I was scared of too. Being hurt. But I guess our relationship wasn’t a typical one because we didn’t talk much. We ate and watched movies and that was the extent of that relationship.

The door is currently closed. Closed from the rest of the world. I opened it, but the world closed it back up. I guess it doesn’t want me in its conversation, in its life, in the world it calls its own. That’s ok though. The world doesn’t owe me anything and I don’t owe it anything. Frankly, I like not owing the world anything- keeping a clear conscience. What’s the point anyways? What will I get in return- some friends that won’t keep in touch, some relationship that’s bound to end and some memories that will fade away? Is it really worth it to eventually be left alone again?

Seclusion

I don’t know why I feel so secluded. I know I do it to myself, but I can’t help it. In this world, in this day and age- can you blame me? It feels safe. It’s all I know, it’s all I want to know. Is that so wrong? To keep to myself and not trust anyone- it’s safe. I like safe. Don’t you like safe?

Updates Pt. 2

Sooo... These updates are taking longer than expected. But that's a good thing because I've been busy gathering my thoughts for all of you and thinking of something clever to tell you. But for now enjoy this funny video... 


Monkey!

ANDD..... GO RANGERS!! 

Updates!

Updates soon to come :) 

Getting Dumped VIA Facebook

Doesn’t it suck when you come home after a long day of doing whatever you were doing and see that you’re single on Facebook? That the one person, that ONE person, you “truly” cared about, dumped you…  And didn’t even bother telling you! They kind of just made their relationship single and it automatically made yours just ‘in a relationship’ with a huge red heart next to it. But you’re not in a relationship anymore. Instead you’re kind of just in a onelationship ? A Onelationship is where one party is still in the relationship when the other party has made it clear they are no longer attending ever again.

OH and then the comments start- like people actually care about you.

They kind of go something like this:
“OHMYGOD.”
“NO WAY? CALL ME.”
“:(“
“aw.”
“When did this happen?”
“You’re too good for him/her anyways.”
“I love youuuu!!! Call me if you need anything!!!!!! Awwww!”

Excuse me while I go barf after reading that.

Your reaction:  
You stare at your screen and all you want to do is tell all of these people to @#$% off because you just found out too. And the best part of it all is that not only did you not know, not only did ALL of your friends know before you, BUT… Facebook will always be there to rub it in with the rest of the world.

WAIT, we’re not done here. Don’t forget about the pictures you and your now ex-significant other had up. Those are still there right? I mean Facebook doesn’t automatically delete every single picture you and this other person had together. Even if it is the person who just broke your heart. Nope, Facebook doesn’t do that for you. Then, you have to go through ALL of your profile pictures and delete each and every picture you had with them. Ultimately, leaving you with your dorky pictures from your teenage years. AND, when looking for another picture to put up you can’t find anything because all your pictures were with that person. Wow, Facebook is really an asshole here if you think about it.

Don’t leave just yet though. I know you know that couple who writes ALL OVER each other Facebook walls even when they’re sitting next to each other. GAG. If they didn’t have enough PDA when you have to see them, you have to read about it too. That’s the couple who break up every so often and always swear they’re never going to get back together and then an hour later they’re fine. That couple that pretends like everything is perfect in their relationship, when in reality it’s nowhere near perfect. Don’t you just LOVE that couple?? And then days/months/years down the road they really do break up and make things awkward for everyone. Ha, you even get to the point to where you start missing their disgusting conversations that kept you entertained for oh-so long.

But, of course you’re not going to blame yourself for putting all those pictures up there. No, you’re not even going to blame yourself for putting ‘in a relationship with so and so’ on Facebook, where the entire world is welcome to join in on. Nope. You’re just going to blame the person who ended it and Facebook. Because in end, it’s only those two entities fault for making you go through such an embarrassing moment in life.   

After all, the worst possible way to get dumped… is when you get dumped via Facebook.  

Music Is My Savior

Isn’t it funny how you can listen to a song and connect it with a certain moment you lived in your life? Music is such a beautiful art that I feel is SO underappreciated. I can listen to a song that’s years old and still remembered what I was doing when I would have the song on repeat from back then.

Currently Playing: With You; Artist: Chris Brown- Great memories with this one. I’m pretty sure I was still in high school trying to figure out what the meaning of life was. Or I was being a normal teenager obsessing over my high school crush. (Not going to name any names of course) ha.

Another thing about music that I’ve learned is that these artists really know how to define what love is, in every possible manner.  Love with friendships, with family, with sex and even emotion. There are even songs that describe how people feel when in love. And of course there are the love songs for when break-ups happen.  

Favorites for love songs (these range in all different genres and love spectrums): Falling in love at a coffee shop; Landon Pigg, Teenager in love; Paul Anka, Stolen; Jay Sean, Breaking up is hard to do; Neil Sedaka, Summer love; Justin Timberlake, Your love is my drug; Kesha, Wait for you; Elliot Yamin, Impossible; Shontelle, Knock you down; Keri Hilson ft. Ne-Yo & Kanye West, Gallery; Mario Vasquez. Just to name a few!

I still cannot believe that before I was deprived of all the beautiful music there is in the world. My life was shut out to only the mainstream music played on the radio or things that my friends introduced me to that I thought was good. Soon enough, I learned about the other music in the world. Right now, I’m obsessed with Jazz/Oldies music. It is so amazing. I feel like those lyrics and the music just reaches into my soul and touches it. I love having the ability to appreciate this music.  

Current obsession artists: Frank Sinatra & Chet Baker.

Currently Playing: I need a girl pt. 2; Artist: P. Diddy- There’s a pretty woman next to me, to share the dreams that I believe, maybe we can start a family. Someone that truly understands, how to treat a man, this is what I need. OK, how about we change up those words to make it appropriate for me, or for any woman. All we want is some lovin too! (Not that I’m not loved, just speaking up for my ladies!)

Then there’s the music that has that vibe. The beat hits us, our bodies start flowing, legs start moving and the next thing you know you’re dancing away. Salsa, rap, hip-hop, Indian- whatever it may be. It gets us ESTATIC! It may be playing at the club, bar or even car and the only thing you want to do is dance. I just wanna dance! Ha ha! You sing at the top of your lungs and you dance the night away. You really don’t care who is watching or who is around because as long as the music is going you are too.

Songs that are fun: I shake I move; LMFAO, XXXO; M.I.A. Ft. Jay-Z, I like it; Enrique Iglesias, Show me a good time; Drake, Shots; LMFAO! I could seriously go on forever with this list.

I CANNOT live without music. The first thing in the morning I think of what I can jam to, to wake me up. And whatever I listen to in the morning puts me in that mood for the rest of the day. Usually that’s why I listen to some good songs to make me smile or dance. I don’t know what I would do without it. It’s there for me when I’m sad, when I’m happy, when I feel the love and even when I don’t. Music completes my life. I can’t play any music, I sure can’t read it, but I DO know how to appreciate it. Music is my savior.

Currently Playing: Lovers and Friends; Artist: Usher, Lil John and Ludacris.  

I think it's an appropriate song to leave off on. :) 

Pulpless Bottle of Lies!!

150% Orange Juice, with NO PULP?!?!?! IT MAKES NO SENSE!

This guy gets me:
Warning: I think he might be on something and I do not promote doing things like that if he is. Somethings I don't agree with either. People under the age of maturity should not yet watch this video. It's just a kind of funny- kind of inappropriate video. Like weird, laugh at the guy funny. You get my point right? Err on the side of safety kiddos! 
Fast forward to 1:00- Pulpless Bottles of Lies!


BTW, I haven't forgotten about you devoted followers; I've just been super busy with summer school ending and a new job! Updates, bitching and pulp-facts soon to come! ♥

I want. I wish. I have.

I want things to be different.

I want my only worry in the world to be when the next dance practice is going to be and how many people were going to come.

I want to get away from reality.

I want everything to go my way.

I want people to be nicer and have good intentions.

I want to make my parents and people who love me proud.

I want to eat something.

I want extra pulp orange juice.

I want to be brilliant.

I want more friends.

I want to have more faith.

I want to make an impact on the world.

I wish the world was a better place.

I wish the good things in life were handed to me.

I wish no one has to suffer.

I wish there was no evil in the world.

I wish I was more motivated.

I wish the hardships in life would go away.

I wish I had some fruit snacks right now. (And someone to share them with)

I wish I had some extra pulp orange juice.

I wish I had all the money I could have and then I wish to help people with it.

I wish people weren’t so difficult.

I wish people didn’t do things for themselves.

I wish for true love.

I have an amazing family. (Especially my broski, he’s the best.)

I have loving friends.

I have the ability to make my dreams come true.

I have a car.

I have food and water.

I have an education.

I have regular, no pulp orange juice, because the store didn’t have any pulpy orange juice and it made me sad.

I have a place to live. (Multiple actually)

I have curly hair.

I have shoes and clothes.

I have a laptop.

I have a religion.

I have you.

Do you get it?

 “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”- Oprah Winfrey